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Asylum seekers: Why should Australia shoulder our burden?
Australia has recently come under fire for its new policy regarding asylum seekers attempting to enter the country without a visa. According to their prime minister, this policy is an attempt to...
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Lahore: No gas to turn on the heat, so if I froze to death, would I be a martyr?
I woke up this morning and found out that, for the fourth consecutive day, there was no gas at home – none whatsoever. The stove fluttered to life for merely a second before going out and I understood...
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Aao bacho sair karain tumko Pakistan ki: Not an ordinary nursery rhyme…
There is a very famous poem, by a very famous poet, written in a more hopeful and exuberant time. It has been set to wonderful, cheerful music and is taught to children everywhere. And in the video...
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What if there was a blanket ban on advertisements in Pakistan?
Everywhere we turn, all we see is advertising; on the television, the radio, newspapers, magazines and social media. What with all the hoardings everywhere, buildings are no longer recognisable....
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Parkour boys of Quetta: Fighting fear… like a boss
I didn’t really know what parkour was, until I came across a recent article about some boys from Quetta’s Hazara town who practise this activity. I had come across references to free running (a more...
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14 hours without power and teetering at the edge of sanity
I recently experienced something that almost every Pakistani is familiar with: a prolonged power outage. It came on the heels of a public announcement that the government cannot vanquish the great...
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If Pakistani films from 2014 had political versions they would look like this…
It’d be only be fair to say that 2014 was a roller coaster ride – if roller coasters came with 10 times the vomit inducing vertigo and none of the fun. The political sphere in our country has had a...
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For singles: How to survive Valentine’s Day
You there! That’s right, you with premature wrinkles around your mouth! You’ve been cringing at couples, haven’t you? So does the colour pink make you vomit? Does the shape of a heart send you into...
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One small step for Sheikh al-Khaibari, one giant leap for mankind
Once upon a time, far away, long ago… These are the words with which I was tempted to begin today, before I was told off by a friend for being overly cynical and unable to look at the bright side, the...
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Who needs Armani and Gucci when you have Modi?
The Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi claims that his fashion sense is God’s gift to him, given probably because most of the nicer gifts (gifts that he might have actually used to run a country) had...
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Petrol shortages: Please don’t blame the government…
After a long and relatively blissful slump in the price of petrol, it was increased by Rs4 in the beginning of the month of April, much to the dismay of the public. This is the beginning of the end of...
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No BJP, Rahul Gandhi did not cause the earthquake in Nepal
A devastating earthquake clocking in a shocking 7.8 on the Richter scale rocked Nepal on Saturday, killing nearly 4,000 people and injuring 6,000. As aid and prayers rush towards the afflicted from all...
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Are we really going to blame India for the heatwave?
The recent heat wave in Karachi that has claimed over a thousand lives is one more nail in our government’s coffin of negligence and its inability to deal with a crisis. It has also become the norm in...
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Who would win the ultimate dance-off between Shoaib and Yuvraj?
An event of momentous importance has occurred and, as is usual with the more earth shaking happenings, has been completely ignored. One might suspect a cover-up by the intelligence agencies because...
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The honeytrap and the (gullible) Indian Air Force
I recently heard about the honeytrap that was used to extract sensitive Intel from members of the Indian military. When I was finally able to stop laughing, I began to wonder why this hadn’t been...
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An Army Public School massacre game? Really Punjab IT board?
Someone decided to make a first person shooting game about the Army Public School (APS) massacre. No, no, I’m not joking. I swear, it’s true. It’s no longer available on Google Play store (Gosh! I...
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Nawaz Sharif going once.. going twice!
Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was recently put on sale on eBay by one frustrated Pakistani who was sick of all the nuisances cluttering up his life. The move was applauded by many world over but mostly...
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The 13 stages of visiting a NADRA office
We’re all accustomed to that dreadful trip to NADRA that we’ve delayed for far too long. Why dreadful? Here’s a list to jog your memory. Stage 1: Mild panic You’re told that the B-Form you have used...
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Azealia Banks and our obsession with her attention-seeking “hairy curry...
My niece is a huge ‘One Directioner’ (is that what they are called?) and was heartbroken when the boy band lost one of its key members, Zayn Malik. We insist on a special connection with this young...
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Women only watch football to check men out, yup, the secret is out!
Another fatwa about women has emerged from the glorious Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, a fatwa that declares the innocent enjoyment of a football match to be haram for women. After all, with the infamous...
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